


I'll Be Seeing You

by ACEluvcm10



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Betrayal, Choking, Eventual Smut, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Choking, Force-Sensitive Reader, Friends to Lovers, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Original Character(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Kylo Ren, Rating May Change, Reader-Insert, Slow Build, kylo is difficult, this is garbage
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2019-04-09
Packaged: 2019-07-05 06:23:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15858021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ACEluvcm10/pseuds/ACEluvcm10
Summary: You've been hiding your power for years, knowing you could be killed if you revealed it to anyone. Seeing as to how StarKiller Base just exploded and Kylo Ren just plopped on your operating table, you would have to try even harder to hide your Force from the infamous Jedi killer. How were you going to make it out of this one alive?





	1. Find Her

**Author's Note:**

> Guys, guys I'm sooo excited to finally be writing my first star wars story.  
> i hope you guys really enjoy this and feedback and criticism is greatly appreciated.   
> love ya

Kylo bowed before the Supreme Leader. The giant hologram sneered at him, as if he were annoyed. The picture emitted a soft eerie glow that barely lit the huge black room. 

"As always, your training is going well. I hear reports that you are getting stronger," Snoke said as if he said this everyday. 

Kylo knew better than to respond, his breathing robotic through the mask. 

"Yet I still feel the pull. The pull to the light! Even after everything I have taught you, you still get teased by it! You should be ashamed of yourself; that may be why you made the foolish decision to bring a scavenger to me instead of the  _actual_ droid!"

"Supreme Leader, the scavenger is strong with the Force. Stronger than she knows. She needs a teacher, and she's seen the map. She knows the location of Skywalker!-" Kylo interjected

"ENOUGH!," Snoke roared. He smoothed his hands over his chest and continued, "If this is true, bring her to me."

The dark knight stood, "I will, sir. I will not fail you."  

The Leader of The Knights of Ren turned and exited the conference room. 

He made his way through the halls. It upset him that he had disappointed his teacher, and more concerning was that he still felt called to the Light. He had been doing everything right, what was he doing wrong? Shaking his head, he entered the interrogation room. Only to find it empty. There was no girl, no storm-trooper, nothing. 

He quickly lost himself. Now  _this_ on top of his master's disappointment. He reacted before he had even registered it. He pulled his lightsaber, screaming, and sliced the metal siding like a deli sandwich. He knew he had to stop obliterating things with his saber when he was mad, but gods, it was hard. 

He charged from the room. Two Stormtroopers ahead. He reached out his hand and they froze. "The scavenger girl is missing.  _ **Find her**_   before you go missing as well."

He dropped his hand and they took off running. 


	2. Bond

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even while incapacitated, Kylo Ren is formidable. Will that stop you? No

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first chapter was a little 'ehh' to me, but I'm glad you guys liked it. Kylo is difficult to write, but I'll get him time.  
> I hope you guys like installment #2  
> love yall

Unprepared isn't even the right word to describe your current situation. Overwhelmed is the more correct term. Nearly all the Medical staff on StarKiller had perished in the explosion. You had three measly average doctors on The  _Finalizer_. They had never seen combat, and had rarely dealt with something as large scale or as serious as this. So you were kind of surprised when they turned to you, the lead nurse, and asked for help. 

Running from room to room, you ducked under assistants and aided the doctors. You took charge with a fervor unmatched and barked orders to those slinking off to corners.  No one was resting until  ** _every_** patient had been catered to. You knew once this ordeal was over, you were going to use this to your advantage to climb the ranks.

You pointed at several nurses, and started towards them. When you reached them, they cowered. It must've gotten around that Miss Y/N L/N, the big bad nurse, was punishing the slackers. You ordered the four of them to deal with the lobby patients. It wasn't like you hadn't a reputation for yourself before this. 

A doctor ran to you. He told you to follow him. Puzzled, you did. You came to the last room of the O.R. It was reserved for royalty or military. In front of the door stood the other two doctors and a First Order officer. Tall, and skinny, with a long coat from his shoulders. He turned and you noticed his pinched face, like he's displeased. His short red hair an unruly mass, as if he'd run his hands through it a million times. His ice blue eyes met yours, and he gave you a hard stare. From his uniform, you made out that he is a general. Suddenly, you realized that this man is the great General Hux.

You stuck your hand out, "It's an honor to meet you, General"

He dismissed your handshake completely. _Rude_ , you thought. 

"Why am I hearing that you're the one in charge?" He asked bluntly. 

"I am the only Med staff on board with extensive combat and traumatic wounds experience," you proudly stated. 

"And you think that makes you competent enough to run staff in a crisis?"

You stood tall. You would not be undermined by this man. "Yes, yes I do. And it's apparent the other staff thinks the same."

He gave you a once over and then nodded to himself. "Well, if you _really_ believe that then I'll let you handle the mess in that room."

You gave him an arrogant stare, "Of course I can."

He leaned in and you saw his evil grin, "Because if you fail, you will be killed. Good luck, nurse."

He strode away. You turned to the doctors and dished out demands. They scampered. The stress in you was at a breaking point and the uncertainty behind that door made it skyrocket. A table against the wall started shaking, and you stomped on your anxiety. You could not afford to have a melt down right now. 

You took a steadying breath and steeled yourself. The room is utter chaos. Both nurses and assistants huddled around the bed, half shouting at each other. More CNAs rushed through prep, and supplies at the counter. The commotion slowly died down as you entered. You scrubbed in and someone helped you put in gear. You pushed through the tiny crowd.  **Holy fucking no**. 

Kylo Ren; the Master of the Knights of Ren, the infamous Jedi killer, lay at your side. You noticed his terrifying lightsaber on top of his clothes. The mask of death is nowhere to be seen. Because yes, you were Force sensitive and if this man found out, he'd kill you. But you knew that if you failed to keep the nearly dead Kylo alive, you would die. No matter how you looked at it, it's not good for you. 

Even while incapacitated, he is formidable. Will that stop you? No. 

You shook off your nerves and dove in. Though you had been informed of his injuries, you still checked them yourself. You started first with his abdominal wound. Either from a blaster or some other high grade weapon. It's very deep with burnt edges, bruises and many burst capillaries. You had trouble welding the muscle back together but you managed. From there, all his injuries were a breeze. Both his shoulder and upper chest were smooth sailing. It's slightly difficult to stitch the burnt slash running from just above his right eyebrow down his neck because of the angle. Once all his wounds were smeared in bacta and wrapped tight, you hooked him to the IV and the machines. The anesthesia would wear off in two hours so you filled him full of morphine. 

After removing your gear and rinsing, you learned that the patients in the lobby had been sent off to their new quarters. You stumbled into your office. A notice on your datapad read that you needed to report to Hux at 0800 tomorrow. You scoffed at it. You sat back and felt your body go limp as the stress rushed from you. You were almost asleep when you felt a tug. You looked and saw no one in the room. The tugging came again, like someone had tied a rope to your waist. Another pull and you shifted in your chair. You stood, following the invisible string. It got stronger the more you neared its location. You didn't notice the room until you stepped inside. 

The rope is choking you now and you struggled out of it. You fell back to the floor. Kylo Ren is projecting ins his sleep. You peeked in and reeled back. It's dark, and pain, and death and agony. Terror gripped you heart but so did another emotion. What a poor creature to be experiencing this alone. You knew Snoke was his mentor, but from what you could see in his projection, he was very unsupportive and cruel.

You knew it was dangerous, but you figured it wouldn't matter. Kylo had reached out to  _you_. Why not reach back?

You pushed until you made contact with him. His energy, dark and light, pulsing but soft, fierce and strong connected with yours. You saw a deep conflict within him, wanting to fix it but knowing he could die if he did. The Force bond between you two ignited into a bonfire, and you cut off from him. 

He was calm now, still asleep. It dawned on you that you had just Force Bonded with the one and only Kylo Ren. He would figure it out and he would kill you. You laughed out loud though nothing about this is funny. You ran and no matter how far you got, you still felt the string. You would just block yourself from him and see if it worked. 

You really hoped that would work. 

 


	3. Habits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You leaned back in your chair and smiled like a maniac. Another bad habit of yours: getting what you wanted by any means necessary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lotta dialogue,  
> kinda long,  
> little backstory  
> hope yall love it

What is that expression? Old habits died hard. No matter what you did, they always showed. Fidgeting your hands when you're nervous. Hard silent stares when you're mad. Drooped head when sad. The list went on, but the one you hate the most is your habit of showing up early. No matter how tired or how much you didn't care, you still found yourself arriving early. 

Which explains why you had shown up to Hux's office fifteen minutes early. You sat outside his office in your cleanest scrubs, your hands fisting your pants. 

You received an update on Kylo Ren through your datapad. "Slept through the night. At 0753 hundred, IV was changed and wounds inspected" You scoffed, so the Knight of Terror slept like a log. You hadn't felt the pull to him the rest of the night which was good. No, it was great actually. As long as you blocked yourself from him, he wouldn't suspect a thing. Ha, who were you kidding. He was one of the strongest Force users in the galaxy. He'd figure you out the second you stepped through his door, and he'd kill you. 

You straightened. You were not going to die at the hands of some temperamental man who thew tantrums when he was mad. You had seen battle in your life, and you knew you wanted to die in battle like a hero. 

The sound of sharp footsteps came to your attention. You stood, hands sweaty and knees shaky. Hux walked from the Communications room into the hallway. He didn't acknowledge your presence as he walked past you.  _Uh, rude._ You followed him into his office. The StormTrooper accompanying Hux stopped outside the door, closing it behind you. 

The room was like the rest of the Finalizer. Muted black walls, a grey metal desk, with a dark green lamp. LED lights in the ceiling. Hux sat in a plush high backed chair, and started typing on his computer. You sat in the hard metal chair on the opposite side. The cold steel seeped through your pants and your skin broke out in goosebumps. You took this moment to further study Hux. Last night, he had been agitated. Now, he appeared more relaxed though his eyes were still pinched at the corners. Maybe he looked like that from dealing with Ren, you mused. You knew you would look similar if you had to deal with the man almost every day. 

Several minutes of silence passed. He was reading something, you could tell. He hummed slightly then turned to you. His scowl deepened. 

"Ah, L/N. I didn't expect you to arrive so early. How is the Commander?" He asked with slight interest.

You got right into it, explaining his wounds and the procedure you had taken to begin his healing process. 

The General nodded. He scrolled on his computer. "It says here that you didn't use any mechanization on the Commander. Why?"

You raised your brow. "Sir, I can assure you that I do not oppose mechanization. I just did not see any need to use it on Ren. His abdominal wound had severe trauma, but he did not need an organ replacement."

Hux pursed his lips, and looked mildly pleased with your answer. 

Your pride surged within you. Since you had started your career, you always sought out praise for your work. When people complimented on your work, it made you more confident in your abilities as a nurse.

"When do you think the Commander will be up on his feet?" Hux asked. 

"Both of his shoulder wounds and his face wound will be fully healed by the end of next week. As for his abdominal wound, it will most likely take four to six weeks," you answered honestly. 

He clicked his tongue several times. "That's going to be a problem, L/N. In the time that it will take Commander Ren to completely heal, the Resistance will most likely have grown. Who will train the Knights of Ren in his place while he regains his strength?"

You were fuming inside. Part of you wanted to yell at him for belittling you. The other half was your confidence, dying just a little. You started blaming yourself, the insecurity rising. The lamp on the desk started to vibrate, and you squashed your emotions. You sighed, now calm, and said, "Sir, I'm sorry it didn't occur to me that this would be a set back for _**you**_ ," his eyes tightened but you continued anyways, "if you need Ren as soon as possible, I could try to speed up the healing process, but that would most likely end with him tearing incorrectly healed inner abdominal muscles and organs."

You sneered as you made your point. The General leaned back in his chair, gazing at you with indifference. 

You took his silence as permission to keep speaking, "General, I understand that you need your greatest defender, but there is no possible way that I can slap Kylo in bacta, give him a bunch of pills, and send him on his way. The safest way that we can do this is let him rest and slowly strengthen him until he's fully healed." 

You finished giving him your best death glare. Another habit; not knowing when to shut your mouth. 

Hux continued to stare at you, face blank and brows raised. Then he smiled, a true genuine smile. Soon, he began chuckling. Now this wasn't some small chortle. He was laughing, like actual full body laughing. He doubled over and laughed even harder at the desk. 

This was terrifying. Seeing your General genuinely laugh was unnerving and strange. It felt like you were invading on a private moment that you weren't supposed to be looking at. It took a while, but his laughter died down to gasping breaths and a face splitting smile. His face was still flushed from his recent emotions. His eyes were bright and twinkling. 

"Well, Y/N since you've so boldly stated your opinion, let me state mine. Kylo Ren is the Master of the Knights of Ren, the sole pilot of the Command Shuttle, Supreme Leader Snoke's apprentice, and the Commander of the First Order. His mere presence alone is highly crucial to our success. If the Resistance figures out that Kylo Ren is not there to defend the First Order, they'll attack! Do you want that?!  _ **Do you?!**_  "

You only shook your head.

"Of course you don't!" He snarled. "Since you are so concerned with Kylo injuring himself, I now post you as his personal caregiver-"

You began to protest but he yelled over you until you quieted. 

"Wherever he goes, you go. Whatever he does, you're with him. You will be with him until the end of time. Do you understand?"

Inside you were screaming.  _Fuck, fuck, fuck._ This is not okay. No, not all. You were gonna be stuck with the Jedi killer. You imagined Force choking Hux to death. No, you would not be talked to like this. You had experienced battle, you had killed people. That had to count for something. It had to. You looked him in his face, and he seemed to draw back. He had no idea who he was dealing with. What you had done in your time before joining the First Order. Goddammit. You had to get out of this. 

You leaned back in your chair and smiled like a maniac. Another bad habit of yours: getting what you wanted by any means necessary. 

"How about this? Once Kylo is fully healed, I am relieved and I can be charge nurse," You purred.

He pursed his lips, "Once he is physically, mentally, and emotionally sound, you are free."

You mulled it over. You had already reached into his mind, and you two had Force Bonded. This would be like cheese on crackers. 

You shook his hand, "It's a done deal."

You smiled. This would be so easy. You practically skipped to Kylo's med room. 

Hux smiled as you left. He knew how Kylo was. You were fucked. 

 


	4. Awake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo wakes up and he’s not happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally got this bitch ass chapter out!  
> Whoop!!!

It only took the bastard three days to wake up. 

Even when he was asleep, you still blocked your powers from him. You had no idea how strong his powers were, you couldn't take a single chance. The invisible rope between the two of you was always present. You could somehow feel its pressure around you, and it snugged tighter the closer you were to him. 

You were in your office, you had moved it to a room off the Commander's by Hux's orders. You were going over paperwork, putting in record of all the med staff that had died in the explosion. You had been at this for hours, and your legs were tingling. You sighed while you shifted. Instead of being Force sensitive, you wished you had the ability to make paperwork do itself. 

A deep alarm blared and yellow lights flashed above. "We have a Code Gray, repeat we have a Code Gray in the medical ward." A monotone voice blared. In the distance you heard yelling and crashing. You sighed from the depths of your soul. Kylo Ren had awoken and was throwing a tantrum.

You stood in the doorway, just watching. Nurses, CNAs and security flooded his room. From where you were standing, you could feel his energy. The same soft pulsing from when you two had bonded was now a suffocating and violent pressure. It smothered you. You were surrounded by it; his energy. You pushed back lightly with your Force. Soon, his energy hung off you shoulders, hugging you like a blanket. 

In a daze you walked to his bedside. You simply looked at him while he thrashed around. He looked at you, eyes full of hate and spit coming from his mouth. 

You jumped. He looked so scary, like the monster the rumors said he was. Panic started to rise and your mind raced.  _Oh no, what if he can feel me? My force? He’s gonna kill me! Or Snoke!_ You were so into your thoughts that you didn’t hear the other nurses screaming at you. 

Something hit your arm and you snapped out it. You finally registered that Kylo Ren was raging and being held down by at least five people. Panicked thoughts aside, you jumped into it. You ordered two people to restrain him to the bed then you ordered one person to grab pain and sleep medication. 

You grabbed Kylo’s arm. His force went up your hand and into your arm and shocked you. “Ow!” You yelled. 

Someone nudged your side, and you moved further up the bed, holding his bicep and shoulder. You watched as his ankles and wrists were strapped down. He struggled with his binds, pulling at them. But they would not budge.

The Commander screamed. It shook you to your bones, the fear in it. You could feel his energy building; like a bubble about to explode. Frantically you yelled, “where’s that medication!?” 

Seconds later, the nurse barreled in. His hands were shaking as he tried to fill the syringes. He filled a needle with Fentanyl. Kylo surged forward, hard enough to rattle his bed. 

The nurse yelped and he dropped the needle. You let go of the Commander and  ran to help the nurse. You instructed him to prep an IV bag while you rapidly filled syringes. 

He hooked Kylo Ren up to the IV, but Kylo continued to struggle. You missed the first several attempts at poking his veins. The fourth try you got it into his artery successfully. After a few minutes, his thrashing died down to twitching. And then he became completely still with sleep. 

You turned to the other nurses, and dismissed them. A janitor came in. She cleaned the broken syringe from the floor. When she left, you sank into the chair next to the Commander’s bed. 

You glared at him and said, “I’m gonna have to do paperwork on this, asshole.”

The rope snagged around you tighter. You just sighed and leaned back in your chair. 

 


End file.
